Thursday, April 30, 2009

Dr. Seuss - Up to the Challenge

Both Mrs. BA and I read to LBA before he goes to bed. There is often much negotiation over "how many stories," "long stories or short stories," and then the negotiations continue once we are in bed - which one first, can he have another one after the pre-arranged number has been agreed to, etc. (We do try to read to SoBA - but he is usually more interested in grabbing the book and flinging it away, or flipping the pages from back to front rather than front to back - but we're working on it.)

There are several Dr. Seuss books in the repertoire, Green Eggs and Ham among them. As a result, I found this story very interesting. Evidently, after finishing (and publishing) The Cat in the Hat in 1955, Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss's real name) was challenged to write another book using only 50 words. (The Cat in the Hat had only used 223 words). Geisel collected on the bet when Green Eggs and Ham came out in 1960, using exactly 50 words. Okay, so they're repeated, but there are only fifty words in the story. Know what they are?
a am and anywhere are be boat box car could dark do eat eggs fox goat good green ham here house I if in let like may me mouse not on or rain Sam say see so thank that the them there they train tree try will with would you
Later, I found this story, published on what would have been Ted Geisel's 105th birthday, which detailed 10 stories behind some of the greatest hits put out by Dr. Seuss. As the parents of two small children, I've read most of them. I, however, avoid discussing the controversy. The Green Eggs and Ham 50-word bet, is on the list, here are the other nine:
  • The Lorax is indeed about the logging industry and got Geisel in trouble with that industry.
  • Horton Hears a Who contains the line, "A person's a person, no matter how small." This line was grabbed by pro-life organizations, but it is unlikely that Geisel meant it that way, especially since he sued to have one organization stop using the line.
  • If I Ran the Zoo, published in 1950, contains the first recorded instance of the word "nerd."
  • The Cat in the Hat was created because Geisel thought the Dick and Jane primers (wow - acid flashback) were boring. He was right.
  • Marvin K. Mooney, Will You Please Go Now! is not about Richard Nixon. Really, it's not.
  • Yertle the Turtle is about Hitler. Really, it is.
  • The Butter Battle Book is about the Cold War.
  • Oh, the Places You'll Go, published in 1990 and the final Dr. Seuss book, is one of his best sellers as it is a perennial gift to graduates. It sells about 300,000 copies a year.
  • The cartoon movie based on How the Grinch Stole Christmas featured Boris Karloff narrating and providing the voice of the Grinch. The man who provided the voice of Tony the Tiger sang, "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch."

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Two down, one to go

As previously reported here, I lost an election for a position I really wanted. Not to be outdone, I was also a candidate for a position in my national professional organization. On Friday, I learned that I lost that election too. I don't know what that means for me - but it may very well make it hard for me to travel to the Annual Meeting this year in Austin, Texas. Mrs. BA is already going as she has a speaking role at the conference, but I might be home with the boys for that week, instead of incurring the additional costs of all of us traveling to Texas.

This leaves me with one remaining election, that of Town Council Member where I live. That election is next Monday. I am in the only contested election in the Town, running against an incumbent, who is seeking his third full term (he was appointed to the remainder of his predecessor's term, when she was elected Mayor).

I have no sense of how this election will turn out, but I have been meeting many of the residents and have greatly enjoyed getting to know them and hearing their issues and questions. I have started yet another blog, specific to issues within the Ward I am seeking to represent. Regardless of what happens next Monday, I will stay involved in the town and work to make my community the best that it can be.

My thanks to those of you out there who voted for me.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Miso Glazed Flank Steak

With the weather that we had around here this past weekend, summer is certainly just around the corner. That will mean an increase in grilling and the preparation of Mrs. BA's favorite meal, flank steak. While her marinade is the popular go-to prep for the steak, I stumbled across this recipe from Chocolate and Zucchini.

Miso Glazed Flank Steak
  • 1 tablespoon miso (a paste of fermented soy, barley and/or rice)
  • 1 tablespoon mirin (sweet rice wine)
  • 1 teaspoon soy sauce (I use a low sodium tamari)
  • 1 teaspoon sesame oil
  • shichimi tōgarashi (or other type of ground chili pepper, with or without added spices), to taste
  • a small section of fresh turmeric or ginger, peeled and finely grated
  • 2 slices flank steak (bavette in French), about 260 grams (9 ounces) total
In a medium bowl, whisk together the miso, mirin, soy sauce, oil, tōgarashi, and turmeric to form a paste. Add the meat, stir and flip to coat well on all sides. Cover and leave to marinate at room temperature for 20 to 30 minutes, stirring once or twice during that time. (You could prepare this in advance and marinate the meat for a few hours; keep the bowl in the fridge then and take it out 20 minutes before cooking.)

Place a lightly greased skillet or grill pan over high heat. When it is very hot, add the steaks to the pan and cook for 1 1/2 to 2 minutes without disturbing. Flip the meat, brush it with what's left of the marinade*, and cook for 1 1/2 to 2 minutes on the other side. (Depending on the thickness of the steaks and the hotness of your stove, this will produce rare to medium-rare meat; adjust the cooking time to the desired doneness).

Transfer the steaks to a plate or cutting board, cover with foil to keep warm, and let rest for 2 to 3 minutes before serving. Serve with a salad of mâche, or slice into crosswise strips to eat with chopsticks over Japanese rice.

* For food safety reasons, most recipes instruct that the marinade in which meat has been marinating be cooked, but this is meat so fresh I would feel comfortable eating it raw, and very little marinade is left in the bowl, so I don't feel it's necessary to cook it off. If you prefer to be on the super-safe side, skip the brushing step.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Why I Don't Shop at Whole Foods

Well there are several reasons, but this one is my reason for never setting foot in one anytime soon. You see, Brave Astronaut doesn't like spiders. In any way, shape, or form. Perhaps I was a fly or other insect in some previous life. Mrs. BA is in charge of dealing with any spiders that make it into the launchpad. I can take care of other bugs, and have on some occasions, but spiders are off limits.

Update: There was a follow up story in the Tulsa World that the spider may not have been poisonous, but I don't care.

I'm out walking the Ward today in search of votes. If you see me out and about, be sure to say hi. But please don't throw spiders.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Everything New is Old Again

Coke is no longer "classic." People of a certain age (including me) will certainly remember the "soda fail" that Coca-Cola went through when the came out with New Coke in 1985. To combat the backlash, "Coca-Cola classic" was born and New Coke went away. Well now that nearly twenty-five years has passed since one of the biggest marketing blunders in history, the "classic" is being dropped from the name.

This is also the time of year when you can obtain Coke without high fructose corn syrup (it's primarily a Passover thing). Look for those yellow caps, people. Coincidentally, Pepsi has noticed and are preparing to launch their own line of cane sugar drinks. They're calling them "Throwback" drinks.

So it would seem we know where the marketing guys who came up with "New Coke" went to work after they lost their jobs . . . .

Monday, April 20, 2009

Tuna Noodle Casserole

In these tough economic times, we are all looking to make ends meet. My mother used to tell stories about making Tuna Casserole (with potato chips crumbled on top) early in my parent's marriage. While I like tuna sandwiches, I don't know if I can get behind the casserole idea. But here's a recipe from the Amateur Gourmet. He got it from this book. A few weeks later, he posted a "gourmet" version. You can read it here.

From the post:
"The assembly and cooking of this casserole couldn't be easier (which is why, I'm sure, it's such an American staple.)
  • Boil 1 bag (12-oz.) of egg noodles until just al dente.
  • Mix the cooked noodles with 1 (16 oz.) can cream of mushroom soup (I had two cans b/c I could only find 10 oz. cans), 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, 2 (6 oz.) cans white albacore tuna drained, 1 large white onion (chopped), 1 16 oz. package frozen sweet peas and salt and pepper.
  • Lay it all in a 2 1/2 to 3 quart casserole dish.
I have to make a confession here. In tasting this unbaked mixture to see if the seasoning was right, I REALLY liked it. Like way more than I should have. Somehow the uncooked tuna, the cold (still frozen) peas, the raw onion, the cheese and the just-cooked egg noodles worked some kind of magic in my mouth that let me ignore the gross, glue-like mushroom soup that was also mixed in there. If I ever reinvent a tuna noodle casserole (a subject I'll get to again at the end of this post), a raw food version might not be out of the question!

Into the oven it went--375 F--for 35 to 40 minutes (until bubbling.)

Out it came and on went the coup de grâce: crushed potato chips (a few handfuls.)

Back into the oven it went for 10 minutes."

Saturday, April 18, 2009

MARAC - Session #15 - Flickr

Today is Saturday April 18. After a very full breakfast meeting, I have gone off to one of the two session blocks that are being held this morning. Mrs. Brave Astronaut will be chairing a session in the second set, so I wanted to get to one of these sessions. I have chosen to sit in and liveblog again from a session. While yesterday I wrote from the front of the room where I was serving as chair, today, I am in the back of the room, working on the laptop keeping people aware of this session.

The presenters for today's session on Flickr are:
The session is being chaired / moderated by one of my colleagues from the National Archives, Laurel Macondray. As noted, the session is about how archival institution are using Flickr to showcase their photo collections. Barbara is up first, fittingly, as the Library of Congress Flickr collection is one of the best that is out there.

Update #1: Faces (or backs of the heads, I told you I was sitting in the back) in the crowd was very popular (according to the comments from yesterday's session report): 2009 MARAC Distinguished Service Award winner Jodi Koste sitting up front (Congratulations Jodi!), several colleagues from my former archival home, the Rockefeller Archive Center, including Program Committee liaison for this session, Charlotte Sturm - one of the nicest people I know. Amy S. and Kate T. and Jean G. are all sitting closely together, surely dreaming about cupcakes. Jean will be featured at the next session, where Mrs. BA will be moderating. Sitting close by the Brave Astronaut is an archivist from the Central PA region, who is notorious (?) / infamous (?) for skipping out on MARAC meetings and leaving people in the lurch. The DC Caucus chair is in the room as are several members of the New York State caucus, including Ray Lefever, who got the shout out yesterday and University at Albany archivist Geoff Williams (go Great Danes!). Somewhere in the room is former MARAC chair Geof Huth. When Huth arrives at a session, you have surely hit upon a hot topic, because Mr. Huth's time is so important, despite his comment yesterday about people not paying attention in sessions if they are being "electronically distracted."

Update #2: The second presenter, Judy from Slippery Rock, targeted her talk at smaller repositories that are looking for an outlet for their photo collections. The link above will take you to the Flickr group for Slippery Rock. She gave a very quick presentation and turned it over to Jim who began to talk about Dickinson's plan. As Jim was wrapping up, the projector crapped out on him, sort of a bummer when you are talking about photos.

Update #3: A BIG MARAC Shoutout to Rob Jenson, who came in and got the projector up and running so Jim could complete his presentation with picture support! Jim is wrapping up and Laurel will invite questions from the audience. I am out of here so I can take over for Mrs. BA, who is looking after the boys, so she can get to her session.

I will try and put together a more robust wrap-up of MARAC Spring 2009 when I get back to the launchpad, which will be a long car drive away from here.

Friday, April 17, 2009

MARAC Charleston - Session #4

Today is Friday April 17. I am at the Mid-Atlantic Regional Archives Conference Spring 2009 meeting in Charleston, West Virginia. I am serving as the chair for a session entitled, Web 2.0 State of Mind: From Theory to Practice, featuring commenters to this blog Kate from Archives Next and J in PA.

I have just completed my introductions of Jim and Kate and Jim is going to take the podium to talk about the different tools out there for us. The presentation is being recorded and when it is released, I will add a link to it.

Update 1: Jim is asking about what tools people are using in the workplace. While this blog was created to allow me an expression of my consciousness, I do try to hit on an archival topic now and again. The majority of the audience is using at least one tool. I use many Web 2.0 tools, including Facebook, Twitter, and blogging.

Update 2: Faces in the audience: The Director of the NHPRC is standing in the back of the room. The archivist at the College of William and Mary (who is also our Program Committe liasion - and uses Twitter). An archivist with the New York State Archives, who is a friend on Facebook. Several colleagues from the National Archives, including frequent commenter here, NJM. The man who hired me to work at the National Archives, and then retired is here, along with Dr. Ken Thibodeau, head of the ERA project at the National Archives, who offered an update during the morning plenary session.

Update 3: After a discussion by Kate about blogs in general, Jim discussed the Dickinson reference blog that he created. Kate has returned to the podium to discuss Twitter. You can follow her at @archivesnext. Other big tweeters are @amycsc and @adravan. I am on Twitter at Comment Moderation@legloaj.

Update 4: Kate is now discussing podcasts. Five minutes to go until the requested cutoff so we can get the audience involved.

Update 5: Kate have moved on to Flickr. There is a lot to cover in this session! Web 2.0 rocks!

Update 6: The time is now noon, and we are getting some good comments and questions from the audience. Kate is wrapping up (after talking about podcasts, video uploading, and now wikis) and we will see what directions the audience takes us!

Update 7: The Jim and Kate show continues. Jim may have just uttered the line of the conference: Viewing Web 2.0 tools as a playground - he swears he just made it up - but it works! Discussion and interaction from the audience continues. 12:20 and we're going to questions and comments. Only 10 minutes before the lunch is scheduled to begin. The Brave Astronaut family should be returning soon and we will head out to find lunch ourselves! Herein concludes the live blogging portion of Session #4!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

It's the Spring MARAC Meeting - It Must Be Time for Playoff Hockey

The Brave Astronaut family is off to Charleston, WV for the Spring 2009 MARAC meeting. Tomorrow night is also the first night of playoff hockey. Here are my predictions and comments for the first round of the playoffs.

In the East:
  • Boston Bruins vs. Montreal Canadiens: The Bruins were the best team in the East all season. The Canadiens were touted at the beginning of the season as being the team to beat, yet they limped into the playoffs. I don't expect it to be close. Bruins in 5.
  • Washington Capitals vs. New York Rangers: This series has resulted in some tension at the lunchtable. I take a fair amount of heat for my allegiance to my New York teams, although I am not very happy with the pinstriped baseball boys. But I am a devout Ranger fan. Which makes this prediction all that harder. I don't think the Rangers can do it again this year. Caps in 6.
  • New Jersey Devils vs. Carolina Hurricanes: I really don't like the Devils. Really. And I think the Canes can knock them down a few notches. Canes in 6.
  • Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Philadelphia Flyers: Can I just root for injuries in this series? I don't care who wins this series, but I think the edge goes to the Pengoons. Penguins in 7.
And on to the West:
  • San Jose Sharks vs. Anaheim Ducks: Despite a Stanley Cup win, I still can't acknowledge the existence of a team named for a Disney movie. And the Sharks have played really good hockey all season. Sharks in 4.
  • Detroit Red Wings vs. Columbus Blue Jackets: The defending Stanley Cup champion Wings have their work cut out for them with the Blue Jackets, who have finished the season very strong. But experience should win out over the upstarts. Red Wings in 7.
  • Vancouver Canucks vs. St. Louis Blues: The Canucks sit in the Brave Astronaut memory banks as the team the Rangers beat to win their last Stanley Cup in 1994. I prefer the Blues, returning to the playoffs after a long drought. Blues in 6.
  • Chicago Blackhawks vs. Calgary Flames: Chicago, one of the original six hockey teams has a long history. The Flames have been around for a while however, but the Blackhawks are the better team. Blackhawks in 4.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Apple and Maple Yogurt Cake

This recipe comes from Chocolate and Zucchini, a French blogger, who posts a number of really good recipes. This one seems to be no different. I might have to work it into the repertoire.

Apple Maple Yogurt Cake
  • 240 ml (1 cup) plain yogurt (I used fromage blanc this time)
  • 180 grams (1 cup minus 2 tablespoons) finely ground maple sugar*, divided
  • 2 eggs
  • 80 ml (1/3 cup) vegetable oil (I use grapeseed oil)
  • 220 grams (2 cups minus 2 tablespoons) flour
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • a good pinch salt
  • one large apple of a variety that holds its shape when cooked (I used a Charden, which is a cross between the Clochard and the Golden, as the name implies)
Preheat the oven to 180° C (360° F) and line a 25-cm (10-inch) cake pan with parchment paper.

Set aside 1 rounded tablespoon of the maple sugar for topping.

In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the yogurt, the remaining maple sugar, eggs, and oil. In another mixing bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Peel the apple, then core, quarter, and slice it thinly. Add the flour mixture to the yogurt mixture and whisk it in quickly, until just combined. Don't worry about lumps and do not overmix.

Pour the batter into the prepared pan, arrange the apple slices on top, starting from the outside, and sprinkle with the reserved maple sugar.

Put into the oven to bake for 40 minutes, until the top is golden and a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean. If you feel the apple slices might be browning too quickly, cover with a piece of parchment paper.

Let cool on a rack and serve, warm or at room temperature.

* If maple sugar is unavailable, substitute 3/4 cup maple syrup and use just 3/4 cup yogurt to make up for the extra moisture.

Friday, April 10, 2009

It's Masters Weekend!

Many who know me understand that while I play golf occasionally, I also enjoy watching it on TV. And this weekend that means the Masters. It is the one tournament that I try to never miss. One of these days I will get there in person (maybe when Archival Trash adopts me - he has tickets).

So while I will be glued to the TV for most of the weekend watching anyone but Tiger, our friends "across the pond" have come up with a game known as "Pub Golf" (seen on Buzz Feed) As defined by Urban Dictionary:
The pinnacle game of choice in the modern sporting era. The game involves visiting 18 different pubs, in 18 different locations, drinking an alcoholic drink of previously specified choice. The aim is to complete the course, and the winner is decided as to who can complete the course in the fewest number of consecutive "sips."

The lowest possible score in Pub Golf is 18 shots. This would require "downing" each drink in one go, and without stopping. Any player taking any more shots that the standard course par of 72 is deemed the winner.

Any form of drink "spillage" or players puking up invokes a penalty of 2 shots.
The rules are rather involved [taken from a website that features black text on a black background - so it was a bit hard to see]:

1. Each player must choose and consume ONE drink in each pub. Points are only scored for this ONE drink.

2. The winner shall be the player with the LEAST NUMBER OF POINTS at the end of the ninth hole.

3. Point scoring system: Just like real golf, we have defined what constitutes a 'par' ( i.e 0 points) for each kind of drink you may choose to consume. A bogey is one over par (i.e. +1), a birdie one under par (i.e. -1), an eagle two under (i.e. -2), and an albatross three under (i.e. -3). [The British creators came up with a very intricate scoring system based on alcohol contents of beer and the selection of mixed drinks, but I think it could easily be simplified]

4. Penalties:
  • Failure to complete a hole (i.e. failure to finish drink) = 3 shots dropped (& no points awarded for your drink)
  • Failure to have a drink at all = 4 shots dropped
  • Puking = 3 shots dropped. The other players are encouraged to sneak on their competitors should any player attempt a quick 'tactical' spew.
  • Failure to complete the course - instant disqualification and a very bad hangover.
5. Water hazards: Players are not allowed to go to the toilet at any hole deemed a 'water hazard'. Penalty = 2 shots dropped.

6. Bunkers: To get out of a bunker each player must consume one shot of their choice (single measure) in addition to their chosen drink. Failure to negotiate bunker - 2 shots dropped. Shot must be neat, i.e.: not water, ice etc, and downed.

7. Hole in one: Should a player DOWN a pint in one, then they may add -2 points to their score for that hole. Definition of down: finish a drink in one go, i.e.: drink a full pint of chosen beverage without taking the glass away from mouth and without taking longer than 30 seconds about it. On completion, the glass should be upturned on the player's head, thus ensuring the drink was actually finished.

8. Time: Play commences before 6pm. Competitors are allowed a strict half an hour to complete each hole. Should time be running out towards the end of the evening, the referee will have the discretion to further limit the time allowed at each hole.

9. Scorecards: Each player is responsible for maintaining his own scorecard. However, at the start of the match competitors will be allocated partners with whom they will play the round. It is also a players responsibility to ensure his partner's score is correctly kept. In addition, at each hole players must declare their score to the referee who will be responsible for maintaining a leaderboard.

10. Referee: A referee shall be appointed for each game. The referee shall be timekeeper, judge, and the final arbiter in all disputes. The referees' decision is final.

So, I think we should move the MARAC Metal Edge Open indoors and try this in Charleston!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Shrimp with Broccoli

Last week I lamented the lack of Baked Potato Soup in my life now that we live some distance from the Houston's restaurant that could provide it to us easily. Another culinary delight that is missing for me here in the Brave Astronaut neighborhood is good Chinese food. I miss Golden House. Perhaps I should add that to my platform for my Council Member Campaign - Good Chinese Food here in Cheverly!

My favorite order for Chinese is Shrimp with Broccoli, so I was excited to see the Amateur Gourmet post a recipe for it. Perhaps I will give it a shot here at home.

Enjoy!

Roasted Shrimp & Broccoli

1. Heat the oven to 425.

2. On a large cookie sheet, toss together 2 pounds of broccoli cut up into florets (but not teensy tiny florets, I like a little stem attached), 2 Tbs olive oil, 1 teaspoon whole coriander seeds (or 1/2 tsp. ground), 1 teaspoon whole cumin seeds (or 1/2 tsp. ground), 1 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp pepper and 1/8th tsp hot chili powder. Spread into a single layer and pop into the oven for 10 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, toss together one pound large shrimp, shelled and deveined, with 2 Tbs olive oil, lemon zest from one lemon, 1/2 tsp salt and 1/2 tsp pepper (I just eyeball the salt and pepper) in a bowl. When the broccoli's been in the oven 10 minutes, add the shrimp to the broccoli and toss (carefully.)

4. Roast another 10 minutes, tossing once halfway through, until the broccoli is "tender and golden around the edges."

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Light Goes Dark

A sad note from the world of television. CBS Television announced this week that "The Guiding Light," which is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as the longest-running television drama has been canceled and will air its last episode on September 18, 2009. "The Guiding Light" debuted in 1937 as a 15-minute radio serial and premiered on television on the CBS network in 1952.

I admit here, which will surely lead to some ridicule, I watched Guiding Light for many years. My mother was a big fan of the CBS soap opera lineup: "Search for Tomorrow," "The Young & the Restless," "As the World Turns," and "The Guiding Light." My viewing years included the short-lived "Capitol," as well. "The Bold and the Beautiful" made its debut during this time as well, but I didn't watch that one. I had some dignity. My mother watched these shows religiously. Once VCRs became commonplace, she began to tape the episodes if she was out and then would watch them later.

I might have to fire up the DVR to tape the final episode. I am sure, wherever she is, my mother will be watching. I believe that in heaven you get to meet and talk to anyone you want. So I am pretty sure that my mother has been hanging out fairly regularly with Charita Bauer, who played the matriarch of the Bauer clan for 34 years. One of my mother's best days was when she went to a luncheon featuring Guiding Light actors and got to sit with the actor who played the villain Alan Spaulding. "The Guiding Light" featured the firmly-middle class Bauer family and the high powered Spaulding family, which ran Spaudling Enterprises.

I, of course, could drag you down into the depths of the twists and turns featured over the years on Guiding Light, but I won't do that to you. The end of Guiding Light will close a significant chapter in television history. In addition to the many records it holds, the show also served as a launch pad for many well-known actors, including Kevin Bacon, Sherry Stringfield, and Hayden Panettiere, just to name a few. James Earl Jones and Ruby Dee also appeared on the show, making Guiding Light the first show to feature prominently African-American characters. Many other Hollywood stars made appearances on the show for a few episodes.

So the Guiding Light is getting turned off. But, truth be told, haven't they just been telling the same story over and over and over? Isn't that the definition of a soap opera? And in my defense, while I watched Guiding Light, I enjoyed the parody of them a little more (see Tootsie and Soapdish).

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Whither the National Archives?

Most people know where the Brave Astronaut punches his time card everyday. The National Archives has been in the news a fair amount lately. The Archivist of the United States, Allen Weinstein, announced his resignation in December 2008. Later, in January 2009, at the time of the Obama inauguration, it was noted (also here) that the Bush administration web presence had been replaced (as was expected), but that the Bush websites may not have been "archived" appropriately. There has even been calls from some to investigate NARA and our practices. Some of these black marks have come as the National Archives prepares to celebrate its 75th Anniversary this year.

But unfortunately today, it has all seemingly come to an end. I have learned the National Archives will close its doors due to the recent downturn in the economy. No more records will be taken into the holdings of the archives, the repositories were close to being full anyway. Some of the holdings will be sent back to where they came from. Those items that are deemed to have significant historical value will be auctioned off to try and meet the extraordinary deficits the National Archives has incurred.

The Charters of Freedom will still be available for viewing, however. Special viewing booths will be constructed allowing people access, where they can place a dollar in a slot. Then a curtain will raise up to allow viewing of the documents for a limited time. This will ensure their continued survival as repeated exposure to light was limiting their lifespan anyway.

Despite recently raising reproduction fees for researchers, additional revenue generating ideas will be instituted. If researchers wish to view any documents, they can make use of the viewing booths described above. Also, some staff may be used, wherein the documents will be held up to the glass at the Archives building for people to copy down the information.

A bake sale will be held today only, with proceeds to go to the purchase of apples, bread, and soup. Lines will form outside the public entrances to the National Archives Building.

In order to get this project underway, an extensive search was conducted for any and all correspondence with the date of April 1. All of that correspondence was then stamped with the words "April Fools" on it and placed on immediate display for today only.