The Open Championship

Most people know I like golf. I don't play it very well, but I enjoy every opportunity I get to play. I also enjoy watching golf (I try to make sure that I always watch the Masters and this year I got to watch a fair amount of the U. S. Open). This weekend is the British Open, known simply as The Open Championship. This year it is being played at Turnberry in Scotland. Someday, I will get to the birthplace of golf and waggle my Billy Baroo around St. Andrews (and no that's not dirty).

The U.S. Open was played this year at Bethpage Black, a public course at Bethpage State Park, about ten minutes away from where I grew up. I have not played there - my skill set is nowhere near that level. I even shot over par in an online version of the course.

Shortly after the conclusion of the U.S. Open, I received this humorous list from Ed in Pittsburgh - a far better golfer than I. It's amusing because my sister-in-law's husband and I had this very idea (of writing a book for the duffer golfer rather than a how-to get better book - there's way too many of those). So here's a proposed chapter list for the bad golfing book. Anybody want to contribute some text?

• Chapter 1 - How to Properly Line Up Your Fourth Putt
• Chapter 2 - How to Hit a Nike from the Rough, when you Hit a Titleist from the tee
• Chapter 3 - How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a bunker
• Chapter 4 - How to Get More Distance off the Shank
• Chapter 5 - When to Give the Ranger the Finger
• Chapter 6 - Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
• Chapter 7 - When to Implement Handicap Management
• Chapter 8 - Proper Excuses for Drinking Beer Before 9:00 a.m
• Chapter 9 - How to Rationalize a 6 Hour Round
• Chapter 10 - When Does A Divot become Classified as Sod (or when your wedge can be re-classified as a trenching tool)
• Chapter 11 - How to Find That Ball That Everyone Else Saw Go in the Water
• Chapter 12 - Why your Spouse Doesn't Care That You Birdied the 5th
• Chapter 13 - Using Curse words Creatively to Control Ball Flight
• Chapter 14 - When to Let a Foursome Play Through Your Twosome
• Chapter 15 - How to Relax When You Are Hitting Five off the Tee
• Chapter 16 - When to Suggest Major Swing Corrections to Your Opponent
• Chapter 17 - God and the Meaning of the Birdie-to-Bogey Three Putt
• Chapter 18 - When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever
• Chapter 19 - Throwing Your Clubs: An Effective Stress-Reduction Technique
• Chapter 20 - Can You Purchase a Better Golf Game?
• Chapter 21 - Why Male Golfers Will Pay $5.00 a Beer from the Cart Girl and give her a $3 Tip , but will balk at $4.50 at the 19th Hole and stiff the Bartender