It's the Day for the Left!

At the Brave Astronaut Clan enjoys it's time Down East with our good friends for the week - it's time to pause and recognize the holiday that occurs today - International Left Hander's Day!

I, am of course, left handed - something that is very prominent in my profession I have come to notice.  Perhaps one of my industrious brethren should come up with a whole line of left-handed archival supplies!  Because below is a list of things that are a challenge to those of us that "if the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body" are the only ones who are in their right minds. (via BuzzFeed)

1. “Scissors” - What it usually means: A tool used for cutting or for brandishing at smaller siblings. What it means to lefties: An ancient torture device that sometimes leaves you hacking at a piece of paper because no one can ever find that one pair of left-handed scissors that’s floating somewhere in the universe. 
2. “Can Opener” - What it usually means: A tool used for opening the can of tuna that’s been at the back of your pantry since 2002. What it means to lefties: An instrument of death that makes you shift into a series of angles that human bodies are not made to withstand.
3. “First Day of School” - What it usually means: A fresh start! Knowledge! The opportunity for an undercover cop to pose as a fresh2death millennial and allow hijinks to ensue! What it means to lefties: Quickly scanning the classroom to grab the one left-handed desk, if there even is one. Otherwise, it means looking forward to a year of performing unnatural and possibly illegal contortions in order to write. 
4. “Dinner Party” - What it usually means: A gathering where friends and/or family partake in food and tedious small talk until someone gets drunk and starts talking about moon landing conspiracy theories. What it means to lefties: A brutal battle where no elbow emerges unscathed. 
5. “Binder” - What it usually means: A place to keep your papers and thoughts organized until the snaps come apart and everything goes flying to the floor. What it means to lefties: A tool forged in hell to annoy you as you attempt to write.
6. “Writing” - What it usually means: Committing words to a page using a writing utensil. Retro texting. What it means to lefties: Smearing ink or lead across the side of one’s hand because life is not fair and no one is looking out for you and nothing matters.
7. “SmudgeGuard” - What it usually means: An open glove meant to prevent lefties’ hands from being stained as they write. A toe shoe for your hand. What it means to lefties: A hand garment created by the Righty Industrial Complex to make us look foolish.
8. “Cooking” - What it usually means: Preparing food when you should have just ordered pizza. What it means to lefties: Wrestling with a saucepan that has a lip on the wrong side so that you end up sloshing half your cooking liquid all over the counter like some moron in a late-night infomercial. Although thank goodness for these things.
9. “Mug” - What it usually means: A vessel from which to sip the blood of your enemies. What it means to lefties: A vessel from which to sip the blood of our right-handed oppressors on which cute little novelty slogans are usually printed so that we cannot see them as we imbibe.
10. “Baseball” - What is usually means: A sport that involves throwing a ball and running while wearing pajamas. What it means to lefties: Gingerly placing your hand into the one lefty glove, if you can even find it, that smells like it is haunted by the ghosts of a million farts.
11. “Camera” - What it usually means: A device that takes photos of food. What it means for lefties: A frustrating device that takes photos of food. 
12. “Gun” - What it usually means: A weapon used in hunting, law enforcement, straight-up murder, firing paintballs at frenemies, or any combination of these. What it means to lefties: A potentially bad idea.
13. “Video Game” - What it usually means: A way to unwind and have fun, usually while murdering pixelated people and/or demons. What it means to lefties: Using a controller that acts as a constant reminder of the Righty Industrial Complex’s vendetta against its superior left-handed brethren.
14. “Lefty” - What it usually means: A person who favors his or her left hand when writing and performing other functions. Also, sometimes it means political stuff. What is means to lefties: A person who puts up with a lot of crap.