Where are the Kayaks?

Every time I announce that I am going to Costco (as I will do tomorrow to buy things for Mrs. BA's family to join us for dinner on Sunday) - SoBA yells, "you can't go by yourself, because you'll buy a kayak.  Kayaks are one of those things that Costco sells, next to the five loaves of bread and the battery piles to get you through the apocalypse.  I'm over the kayak - but SoBA hasn't seen the basketball hoop set they are currently selling. From BuzzFeed (my comments in italics)

20 Survival Tips To Get You Through Costco Alive

1. Get there early - parking spaces go faster than a cheesecake sample.
2. Never let your kid bring a toy inside with them - because if he/she loses it in there you are NEVER. EVER. GOING. TO. FIND. IT.
3. Don’t forget your membership card - not just anyone can join this club, you know. Well, that’s not true. Anyone can. But they still won’t let you in without it. 
4. Skip the flat bed - you’ll want to strap your kids into the shopping cart so they can’t run around.
5. Don’t even think about going in there without a shopping list - I once knew a family who went to Costco just to browse. I miss them.
6. Keep your head down and walk straight to the first item on your list - you do not want the kids to see the toy section. And your wallet doesn’t need you to see all the cool stuff in the electronics section, either. (I have always been an up and down every aisle kind of guy - but even I skip aisles at Costco.)
7. Seriously, don’t let yourself be tempted by big-ticket items.
8. Visit the sample folks every chance you get - “Why, yes, I would like to try a chicken, apple, and herb breakfast sausage.”
9. Just be sure to get out of the way once you’ve got your sample.
10. Samples are awesome for kids too - if your kids are picky eaters, you’ll love that they can try it before you buy it. (On those occasions when LBA and SoBA come with me - they're all about the samples)
11. It’s smart to focus on nonperishable items - when you buy in bulk, you’ll want to be able to take your time eating this stuff.
12. But think twice on perishables - I once got a deal on four pounds of shrimp. For the next week I woke up every night in a cold sweat worrying that it’d go bad before I finished it all.
13. You’ll want to think about your freezer space too - If your freezer isn’t big enough to stash a body, you probably should pass on that economy-sized box of waffles.
14. It’s easy to get distracted by the Costco-ness of it all. Stay focused - yes, those are 14-foot Christmas trees for sale in August. No, you don’t need one. What’s next on the shopping list?
15. Speaking of distractions… Don’t waste time searching for the ark of the covenant - It looks like the same place, I know, but it’s not. Seriously. Stay focused.
16. If you get lost, don’t panic.
17. Also, don’t look up - or you’ll be in for a serious case of vertigo.
18. Just keep heading in one direction until you see something you recognize - “There in the distance… Past the industrial sized jar of oatmeal… That’s the book section! I know where we are! I KNOW WHERE WE ARE!”
19. Once you have everything on your list, there’s one last challenge: checkout - if your kids complain, remind them they have no problem waiting 45 minutes in line at Six Flags.
20. Congratulations! You survived! - reward the family with a slice of Costco’s awesome pizza. And a hot dog. And a churro. Anyone know if they sell this stuff in bulk too?

Off to the Grocery Store

Sunday is my day to grocery shop.  Mrs. BA and I always say that we are going to menu plan and I can then go to the store with a better list of ingredients to know what meals we are going to have for the week.  With both of us working - it's hard to know what dinner is going to look like when you come home at 5:30 and nothing is defrosted or ready to go.

But I like going to the grocery store.  There, I said it.  Mrs. BA doesn't like going to the grocery store.  In fact, she's not very good at it.  So it all works out.  I like going up and down every aisle and I love my Wegman's app that tells me where things are and what's on my list.  But that, of course doesn't stop me from buying the "emergency breakfast" or something else that I just have to have.

So it appears that grocery stores have been controlling my (our) minds for years.  From BuzzFeed.

21 Ways Supermarkets Control Your Mind

1. The make you associate the color red with discounts - supermarkets often put red “discount” signs in their parking lots, so you’re familiar with their format before you enter. Once you’re inside, the same sort of red signs don’t always denote a price reduction. But, because of the association you’ve already formed, you’ll be more inclined to buy the product.
2. They make shopping carts extra large - shopping carts, which were invented in 1938, are purposely much larger than the average family’s weekly food shop. This encourages you to buy more food than you need. (I will say that Wegman's does offer a small and large cart - but I always go for the large one.)
3. They put fruit and vegetables at the front - fruit and vegetables are usually positioned at the supermarket’s entrance. Although this doesn’t make sense for the shopper, who will crush their fresh shopping with heavier items later, the fresh smells and bright colours of fruit and veg make you feel positive. Plus, if you buy healthy food at the beginning of your shop, you’re more inclined to spend more on junk foods later.
4. They trick you with math - loose fruit is often priced by the pound, whereas packaged fruit is priced by the item. This makes it difficult for you to work out which is the cheaper option.
5. They pretend their fruit and vegetables are fresh - fruit and vegetables are often displayed in crates to make them look like they have just arrived from the farm.
6. They spray their vegetables with water - vegetables are often sprayed with a water mist throughout the day to make them look fresher. (I will note that at one of the Safeway's that I have shopped at, it's a show - you hear thunder and see "lightning" before the sprayers are turned on.)
7. They use flowers to fool you - flowers are also positioned at the supermarket’s entrance, usually in a more open display than food. This reminds the shopper of being in a local store and makes them feel less overwhelmed by the size of the shop which, in turn, encourages them to spend longer there. (And on those occasions when I have SoBA with me - he will always demand that we buy flowers for Mrs. BA.) 
8. They make you feel really hungry - most supermarkets position baked goods near their front doors. The smell of fresh bread activates your salivary glands, which makes you more inclined to make impulse purchases.
9. They force you to walk everywhere - essential items, such as bread, milk, and eggs, are spread out all over the store in order to make you wander around more. (hey, that's often the only exercise I get during the week)
10. They make you think you're going fast when you're not p they use smaller floor tiles in the more expensive aisles to make your trolley click faster. This makes you think you’re traveling faster, so you subconsciously slow down and spend more time in the expensive aisle.
11. They hide the cheese at the back - dairy products are usually positioned against the back wall, so you have to walk through the entire shop to get to them, encouraging you to pick up more things on the way.
12. They've worked out a sneaky right-left formula - since most supermarkets make you move from right to left, you’re naturally inclined to buy things from the right-hand aisles. The most expensive products are placed there. (Hey, I'm left-handed and I usually work the store from the farthest point back to the front (and do the aisles in reverse - so I'm OK with making suckers out of my right-handed friends.
13. They exploit your kids - expensive items are positioned at eye level, whereas items that are meant to appeal to children are positioned at their eye level. The cheapest items are positioned at the bottom of shelves, as you’re least likely to look there first. (This is one of the main reasons that I really like to grocery shop solo)
14. They make you think things are cheap when they're not - when you’re in a hurry, you’re likely to pick up bargains on the ends of aisles, rather than considering the best-priced options. Supermarkets will rarely place the cheapest products here. (I do like the impulse, end-cap purchase, I'm sorry to say.) 
15. They subliminally suggest food pairings to you - complementary items, such as crackers and cheese or apple pies and cream, are positioned next to each other in order to encourage you to buy more than you intended.
16. They sell meat and fish against white walls - meat and fish is often sold against a white backdrop, as this makes it look fresher.
17. They make things look better so you spend more - visual cues, such as installing wooden shelves and nice lighting, make you more inclined to spend more money on quality products.
18. They paint the walls red to make you stay longer - warm colors grab your attention and and encourage contemplation. Research shows that people contemplate which fruit juice to buy for a long time, so those aisles are painted red.
19. They play music to make you spend more - slow music makes you shop for longer, whereas classical music makes you spend more. Experiments have also shown that playing French music in the wine aisles increases the sales of French wines. (I will say that Wegman's has a really good Muzak system - I often find myself singing along, and I'm not alone.) 
20. They place essentials to encourage impulse buys - everyday items, such as socks and deodorants, are often placed near the registers as you’re likely to pick them up on an impulse, because you’ll need them at some point, even if you weren’t planning on buying them.
21. They appeal to your greedy side - check out lines are often lined with things like chocolate, which you’re likely to pick up as a reward for yourself for doing the shopping.

The 12 Posts of Christmas (2012), volume II

Well this was the weekend for the Brave Astronaut clan to really get moving on the Christmas spirit.  Mrs. BA and I have also begun consulting with Santa as to what LBA and SoBA will be getting for Christmas this year - you'll see in a moment that they may need more presents than usual to bring the tree size into proportion.

The Brave Astronaut has a few things on his list this year and I am nearly done with gifts for Mrs. BA.  I am looking for one other thing and know what other thing(s) I want to buy, so I am good there.  Perhaps I might think about something from the 12 Days of Christmas?  As in past years, PNC has created the "Christmas Price Index."  For all 12 gifts (in their appropriate quantities), the price is $25,431.18, a 4.8% increase from last year.  Gold is up 16.3%, but geese are up nearly 30%.  "Personnel" is relatively stable with the exception of Pipers and Drummers, both up 5.5%.

My needs this year are small (I'm thinking of making the switch to an electric razor), nowhere near approaching the gifts out of the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book.  Although had I won the PowerBall a few weeks ago (or somebody I knew won), I might be interested in the Private Dinner for 10.  It's only $250,000.  And I could certainly see LBA and SoBA drooling over their own personalized video game - it's a bargain at $90,000.

The Brave Astronaut clan and the OSG family have our Christmas tradition of going out to hunt our trees.  For the past several years we have gone to a farm in northern MD / southern PA (it's really on the border - you cross the Mason-Dixon line three times to get to the farm).  This year, we found a deal (and you know how much the Brave Astronaut loves the deal) for a farm in Harper's Ferry WV.  So we headed out there this morning - had a lovely day with lunch after getting our trees, at the Blue Moon Cafe in Shepherdstown before heading home.

Here's the tree that we wound up with.  It is possibly the biggest tree I have ever had.  I had to go out for more lights and I used just about every ornament we own.  If only I'd kept my hockey ornaments.

Baked Camembert with Thyme and Garlic

With both Mrs. BA and I working all week, we tend to do our grocery store shopping on the weekends. I have never gotten into the whole grocery delivery thing - I like going to the grocery store. Sometimes, evening runs to the grocery store are what happens. Mrs. BA stays home with the boys and gets them ready and off to bed and I come home with dinner. For her (and if I have gone to Wegmans) that may mean some Brie and a baguette for dinner. So here's a recipe just for her, but feel free to use it yourself.

Baked Camembert with Thyme and Garlic
[from Epicurious]

[from the author] This recipe is a favorite of mine on a cold winter's night as it always reminds me of times with friends when we would ski and snowboard all day then sit by a log fire and eat and drink all night. If you don't have maple syrup on hand, use a spoonful of honey instead.
Yield: Serves 4

Ingredients

• 1 x 9oz camembert in its wooden box
• 1 garlic clove, peeled and sliced into matchsticks
• 1/2 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves
• 1 tablespoon maple syrup
• 1 small baguette, cut into 1/2 in slices
• 2 tablespoons olive oil, plus extra for brushing
• crushed sea salt

Preparation
Preheat the oven to 400°F. Remove the camembert from the box and discard any wax paper packaging. Take a 10-inch square of foil and place in the box. Place the camembert inside.

Pierce the top of the camembert with the tip of a knife and push in the slices of garlic. Sprinkle the thyme leaves over the top and drizzle with the maple syrup. Loosely scrunch the foil up over the cheese. Set aside.

Brush two 12-inch square sheets (the size of your baking sheet) of parchment paper with oil. Line a baking sheet with one of the oiled parchment sheets, oil-side up. Spread the slices of baguette over the sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with crushed sea salt. Place the remaining sheet of parchment, oil-side down, over the bread.

Place in the oven with the camembert and cook both for 10 to 12 minutes until the cheese has risen and the bread is crisp. Open up the foil and dip in the hot baguette for a simple snack. Delicious!

Source Information
From Take 5 Ingredients: 95 Delicious Dishes Using Just 5 Ingredients by James Tanner.

Pasta and Peas!

A popular (and quick and easy) meal around the launchpad for the boys is "Pasta and Peas." It's not quite boxed mac and cheese, which appears as well, but just what it says. Cook some pasta, throw in some frozen peas, sprinkle a little cheese on top, and serve.

My new grocery love, Wegmans, had this recipe on its Twitter feed in early November - it's a good variation that should even appeal to the grownup set.

Fettuccine with Prosciutto & Peas

Ingredients

• 1 box (16 oz) Italian Classics Fettuccine, prepared per pkg directions; keep warm (reserve 1/4 cup pasta water)
• 1 pkg (24 oz) Italian Classics Parmesan Cream Sauce (Prepared Foods)
• 1/2 pkg Food You Feel Good About Petite Sweet Peas (Frozen Foods)
• 1 pkg (4 oz) Italian Classics Prosciutto, cut into 1/2-inch strips
• 1 pkg (0.25 oz) Food You Feel Good About Italian Parsley, chopped
• 1 tsp lemon zest
  

Directions

1. Heat sauce in braising pan on MEDIUM. Add peas and prosciutto; simmer 5 min.
2. Add pasta, reserved pasta water, parsley, and lemon zest to pan; toss to combine.
   

A Beach Thanksgiving

So the Brave Astronaut clan has taken itself to the beach for the Great American Holiday. We found ourselves devoid of family obligations - Mrs. BA's family held a "fake" Thanksgiving this past Sunday and we were not interested in joining the crushing tide along the New Jersey Turnpike (not after an 11-hour trip last Christmas, which we hope to avoid next month) to go to NY to see my father. We are "vacationing" in a friend's condo on the beach block in North Ocean City (it is practically Delaware - we are two blocks from the state line).

Even though it is just the four of us, I still wanted to have a traditional Thanksgiving. There had been talk of all sorts of downsizing (turkey breast) or alternate menus (seafood), but I decided to go with the regular menu. So today we will have a turkey, now properly defrosted and brined, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry, and green beans. There will be pie and ice cream for dessert. I'm sorry Mom, but the pearled onions will not be on the table - don't be mad. I'll make sure they appear at Christmas. The turkey is small and there will be leftovers, which will be good as we don't have a menu plan for Friday or Saturday. We are heading home on Saturday, so maybe everyone gets turkey sandwiches in the car.

Today of course started with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and sure to be followed by some football. Tomorrow or Saturday we are thinking about a trip to the outlets in Rehoboth. I am tempted to go there tonight for "Midnight Madness" as all of the stores will open at midnight with crazy sales. But the tax-free and the already low prices prevalent at outlets will help whenever we go. Mrs. BA and I should be able to get a jump on Christmas gifts for the boys.

The beach in the off season is an interesting place. Driving in on Tuesday night (made in record time- beat that you New York bound people), we turned onto Coastal Highway and could have stopped and unloaded in the middle of the road as there was not a soul to be seen. The condo building is also empty except for us. We may think about ice skating here, perhaps make use of their pool, too. Another destination we have in mind is this to help push us in the appropriate direction for the Christmas season.

I wish all of you a happy and blessed Thanksgiving. I hope that you are spending the day with those you love and that you all have something to be thankful for. I am of course, extremely thankful for my family and I am very glad to be with you and am thinking about those that I am not with and look forward to spending time with them soon.

Is Wegman's Watching Me?

Last week, I reported about the impending arrival of Wegman's up the road and how much I was looking forward to shopping there (although I have been warned my grocery bill may be going up). Last night, we prepared a nice Sunday dinner, inviting over a friend to share at our table. We were going to prepare a roast chicken, but there were none to be had at the store. So we went with flank steak instead.

We decided to roast some potatoes, instead of baking them, as we will often do with flank steak. We went with a rosemary-olive oil toss and roasted them in the oven as the steak grilled outside (in the rain!). Then today, I see on the Wegman's Twitter feed this recipe for Rosemary and Garlic Potatoes. I know that Wegman's is supposed to be very community oriented, but this is a little much . . . Full disclosure, I did use just regular potatoes, not the fingerling variety called for in this recipe - but they were good nonetheless.

Rosemary & Garlic Potatoes
Serves 8
Active Time: 5 min
Total Time: 30 min

• 1 pkg (24 oz) Food You Feel Good About Fingerling Potato Medley, larger ones halved on the bias
• 4 cloves Food You Feel Good About Peeled Garlic, halved lengthwise
• 2 Tbsp Wegmans Basting Oil
• Wegmans Sea Salt
• Fresh cracked black pepper
• 1 pkg (0.25 oz) Food You Feel Good About Rosemary
  

Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

Toss potatoes and garlic with basting oil in a large bowl; season with salt and pepper.

Scatter rosemary sprigs on foil-lined baking sheet (reserve 1 sprig). Top with single layer of potatoes and garlic.

Roast 25-30 min on center rack of oven, until potatoes are fork-tender and light brown. Garnish potatoes with reserved rosemary sprig.

Garlic-Parmesan Tilapia

I was not a good father yesterday. I really wanted to sit around and do nothing. I got to do that mostly because I am married to the best woman ever. I got to take a two and a half hour nap, which my body really needed. When I woke up, I got up and made dinner for the family. Fish sticks and mac and cheese for the boys and broiled tilapia fillets for Mr. and Mrs. BA.

We have a recipe for basil butter fish fillets, which is good (however, last night I substituted spinach for the basil and it was ok as well). I lamented that I needed a number of different recipes for broiled fish as we have a number of tilapia fillets in the freezer.

On October 24, we will have a new grocery store to shop in just up the road. Wegman's will open on that day. I am greatly looking forward to my first shopping experience at Wegman's. Needing a recipe for tonight, I moseyed over to their website and poked around. And what did I find? A recipe for Garlic-Parmesan Tilapia. Now, I'm all set.

Garlic-Parmesan Tilapia
SERVES 4
ACTIVE TIME: 10 min
TOTAL TIME: 25 min

• 4 Tbsp Wegmans Garlic Cheese Finishing Butter (Dairy Dept)
• 3/4 cup panko bread crumbs
• 2 Tbsp Italian Classics Shredded Italian Blend Cheese (Cheese Shop)
• 1 tsp Wegmans Basting Oil
• 4 tilapia fillets (about 6 oz each)
• 1 pkg (8 oz) Wegmans Bouillabaisse Seafood Sauce (Prepared Foods), warmed
  

You'll Need: Small saucepan, baking sheet

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

1. Melt garlic butter in saucepan on LOW; remove from heat as soon as it is melted.

2. Combine melted butter and bread crumbs in a small bowl; mix well. Add cheese; mixing well.

3. Coat baking sheet thinly with basting oil. Place tilapia on baking sheet; season with salt and pepper.

4. Top each fillet with about 3 Tbsp of bread crumb mixture; press to cover entire top of fillet.

5. Bake 12-15 min or until internal temp of fillets reaches 130 degrees. (Check by inserting thermometer halfway into thickest part of tilapia.) Remove from oven; let rest 2 min.

6. Serve with bouillabaisse sauce.

Homemade BBQ Sauce

When I go to the grocery store, I try to be conscious of the ingredients that are in the food I'm buying, particularly the all-invasive High Fructose Corn Syrup. I'll freely admit the bias and all that I've read about it - but the fact that it is in everything is what really irks me. Salad Dressing, Spaghetti Sauce, really? The BA clan does like barbecue on occasion: chicken breasts, ribs, etc. and I try to buy a BBQ sauce that does not have HFCS in the ingredients. It usually takes some doing and I always say that I'm going to start making my own. Here's a recipe that uses coffee. Yeah, bring it on, baby! Leslie Buck would be proud. Who was Mr. Buck you ask? He created this (click on his name for the Time Magazine obituary):


So in honor of Memorial Day and the unofficial start of the Summer (the BA clan is likely at the pool!), try this sauce next time.

Leftover Coffee Barbecue Sauce
The Washington Post, May 12, 2010

Summary:
Coffee adds unmistakable body and flavor to this no-cook sauce.

MAKE AHEAD: The sauce can refrigerated in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.

Makes 4 1/2 cups
Ingredients:

• 2 large dried ancho chili peppers
• 2 cups hot coffee
• 1 chipotle pepper from a can of chipotle en adobo, such as La Morena brand
• 3 medium cloves garlic
• 2 cups ketchup (there's that HFCS, again)
  
• 1/4 cup Worcestershire sauce
• Juice from about 2 lemons (1/4 cup)
  

Directions:
Char the ancho peppers on a gas stove by holding one pepper at a time with long tongs over a low open flame, or on an electric stove by placing the pepper directly on the burner. With either method, cook for 1 minute, turning frequently, until the pepper has puffed, softened and charred slightly. Repeat with the remaining pepper. Discard the stem and seeds and cut each pepper into 3 or 4 pieces.

Transfer to a blender; add the hot coffee. Remove the center knob from the lid and place a dish towel over the opening to prevent hot liquid from escaping. Puree, starting on low speed and increasing the speed to high. Add the chipotle pepper, garlic, ketchup, Worcestershire sauce and lemon juice; puree until smooth. Transfer to an airtight container and refrigerate for up to to 2 weeks.

Recipe Source:
From Real Entertaining columnist David Hagedorn.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Mrs. BA has a rule that you are not allowed to discuss Thanksgiving plans until Columbus Day and no talk about Christmas until Veterans Day. As a result, we have discussed our Thanksgiving plans and it looks like we will be home for that holiday. Christmas plans are only a murmur at this point, but they are likely to involve a trip to New York to see my father and hopefully, my brother, who will make the trip from Maine for a few days.

Well, folks, today is October 25 and Christmas is but two short months away. (You've already noticed the decorations in the stores, right? That started in September, but don't get me started.) The economy is still struggling and people are already bargain hunting for what to buy this year. If you have survived the economic downturn and have a little extra folding money, the Annual Neiman Marcus Christmas Book is out (and even that shows some signs of belt tightening). But there are still those luxury gifts. Feel free to reward the Brave Astronaut in your life.

• Customized Cupcake Car - put on your matching hat, slip under the muffin top of your Cupcake Car, and let the world figure itself out for awhile. Get (or give) the sheer, joyful chaos of a gift that is mind-blowing, triple-dog-dare, double-infinity forever cool. Make the kids or grandkids literally squeal with joy. Bring it to work and buzz the breakroom. Crash parades! Putter about the ‘hood. Ever had a crowd of kids chasing after you just for the crazy gleeful heck of it? (No worries, the top speed is a comfy-safe 7 mph.) What’s it made of? A 24-volt electric motor, a heavy-duty battery, sheet metal, wire, fabric, wood . . . and mad genius. Launched at Burning Man as a cooperative art car project, the Cupcake Car sprang from the fevered mind of Bay Area artist Lisa Pongrace and her less-rules-more-laughs posse of artists and techno geeks. Yours will be tricked out with your favorite topping, so start thinking flavors. Price $25,000.00
• Algonquin Round Table Experience - Imagine hosting the brightest minds of modern literature, journalism, and the arts. An exclusive private dinner party of fine food, engaging wit, and sparkling conversation at New York City’s legendary, literary Algonquin Hotel. You and a guest will be part of an extraordinary gathering drawn from this impressive array of literati (possible attendees: Christopher Buckley, Roz Chast, Delia Ephron, Nora Ephron, Henry Louis Gates, Jr., Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Gopnik, John Lithgow, Anna Deavere Smith, George Stephanopoulos, Ali Wentworth). This evening promises to be one for the books. Price $200,000.00
• Hall Artisan Wine and Art Experience - Kathryn and Craig Hall have spent the past 15 years perfecting precision winemaking using artisan standards, small-vine viticulture, and Earth-friendly practices. For wine and art aficionados, we offer a unique immersion into the art of great winemaking. You and a guest can learn organic, artisan winemaking firsthand, tour the estates, enjoy tastings of exclusive private vintages—and have the singular chance to create your own personal vintage in a private blending session led by HALL Winemaker Steve Leveque. There’s also a personal tour of the Halls’ world-class contemporary art collection with Kathryn as your guide, and in the evening, Kathryn will host a private gourmet dinner and wine event at the winery’s breathtaking Rutherford Estate cave. Your luxury accommodations at the Auberge Resorts Calistoga Ranch will include activities customized for you and your guest. The best part: after your custom blend has aged in French oak barrels, your personal cuvée will be bottled and delivered to you. Available separately: an exclusive selection of handcrafted Cabernet Sauvignons from the Halls’ personal collection, not available to the general public. Price $20,000.00
• The 2010 Jaguar XJL Supercharged Neiman Marcus Edition - Unveiled to the world this summer, the Jaguar XJ flagship line has been totally re-imagined from the ground up—and is the star of the international auto industry. Presenting the heart-racing mix of next-generation engineering and world-class luxury that is ours exclusively: the 2010 Jaguar XJL Supercharged Neiman Marcus Edition. The challenge: Only 50 will ever exist. The reward: One of them could be yours. Let’s start with the all-new frame. It is pressure cast from aluminum and magnesium to give the XJL a strong, light architecture that improves fuel efficiency and structural rigidity. The new panoramic safety-glass roof provides a tremendous sense of spaciousness in the cabin and an amazing view for every trip. The powertrain? A new third-generation supercharged 5-liter V8 that delivers 470 horsepower. The Jaguar Sequential ShiftTM six-speed ZF automatic transmission adapts to its driver, with wheel-mounted shift paddles and Sport, Standard, and Winter modes. So, let’s give you a taste of the intuitive technology. Instead of dull dials, there’s an interactive 12.3" high-def screen to display all the pertinent info in your line of vision. An integrated navigation and entertainment system is at your fingertips to access audio, Bluetooth, hard-drive based GPS navigation, and climate control systems via touch screen or by speaking your commands into the Interactive Voice system. There’s a media hub with docks for MP3 players and USB devices, a Bowers & Wilkins 1,200-watt premium sound system with Dolby ProLogic IIx Surround Sound and an aural-inspiring 20 speakers throughout the cabin. Let’s see: massaging front seats, electric sun blind, heated steering wheel, four-zone climate control, integrated security system—we could go on forever. Our Neiman Marcus edition also features an exclusive Celestial Black metallic paint outside and the NM nameplate on the custom interior intaglio, of course. Dazzling 20" double-10 spoke polished alloy wheels complete the exterior. Inside, there’s a custom interior of butter-soft navy and ivory leather and Zebrano matte wood accents. Other refined details of our automotive masterpiece include illuminated tread plates and trunk finisher. We’ll even throw in a five-piece set of matching Jaguar luggage, in navy blue leather. Did we already mention that only 50 will ever exist? Just checking. MSRP $105,000.00
• Maker's Mark Master Distiller Experience - Any whiskey aficionado will tell you it is perfection in amber. Maker's Mark Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey is handmade in small quantities of just 19 barrels, each batch distilled and aged with the same exacting standards the Samuels family has passed down for seven generations. As Master Distillers for a day, you and a friend will have an all-access VIP experience like no other, with Master Distiller Kevin Smith as your host. You will participate in the unique whiskey-making process step by step, for an insider’s look at how every detail makes every glass a special occasion. This gift experience includes a two-bottle memento of the rarest Maker’s Mark bottles ever: Two golden bottles will be etched with your likeness and dipped in gold wax with 24-kt. gold flecks. You’ll also get to hand dip six of your own 375ml Maker’s Mark bottles in signature red wax and take them home. The experience includes luxury accommodations in Louisville and a gourmet dinner hosted by Bill Samuels, Jr. (the top dog at Maker’s Mark). Price $7,500.00 [the bargain of the luxury gifts!]

Why I Don't Shop at Whole Foods

Well there are several reasons, but this one is my reason for never setting foot in one anytime soon. You see, Brave Astronaut doesn't like spiders. In any way, shape, or form. Perhaps I was a fly or other insect in some previous life. Mrs. BA is in charge of dealing with any spiders that make it into the launchpad. I can take care of other bugs, and have on some occasions, but spiders are off limits.

Update: There was a follow up story in the Tulsa World that the spider may not have been poisonous, but I don't care.

I'm out walking the Ward today in search of votes. If you see me out and about, be sure to say hi. But please don't throw spiders.

The Customer May Not Always Be Right

[This post goes on for a while. It's about customer service, something I have a fair amount to say about. So just in time for all those Memorial Day sales - don't get me started - here's a post about remembering those in the service industry, while also remembering those in the service as we celebrate Memorial Day tomorrow.]

One woman who frequently flew on Southwest, was constantly disappointed with every aspect of the company’s operation. In fact, she became known as the “Pen Pal” because after every flight she wrote in with a complaint.

She didn’t like the fact that the company didn’t assign seats; she didn’t like the absence of a first-class section; she didn’t like not having a meal in flight; she didn’t like Southwest’s boarding procedure; she didn’t like the flight attendants’ sporty uniforms and the casual atmosphere.

Her last letter, reciting a litany of complaints, momentarily stumped Southwest’s customer relations people. They bumped it up to Herb’s [Kelleher, CEO of Southwest] desk, with a note: ‘This one’s yours.’

In sixty seconds, Kelleher wrote back and said, ‘Dear Mrs. Crabapple, We will miss you. Love, Herb.’”

I used to work retail. Yes, I'm crazy. My wife doesn't understand that part of my personality. I used to be the guy that sales associates would call when there was a problem with a customer. Managers loved to work with me because I always took the heat from the customers. It seemed that I had a way of calming down the most irritated of customers. I just really loved the give and take.

There were times when I used to have to swallow hard and give in to the customer as there was some fault on the store's part and we had a philosophy that the customer was [usually] right and we would go to great lengths to please them. So I read with some interest this blog post about how the philosophy of "The Customer is Always Right" is not the best business practice. I include the story above for two reasons. I really love Southwest and think they have excellent customer service and secondly, I wrote a letter to Southwest and they actually responded to it (as they said they would).

But here are five reasons why caving to the customer may not work out in the end:

1. It makes employees unhappy.
Of course the problem here is that your employees will feel as if you have hung them out to dry. This is fine line that management has to walk and one of the reasons that I was so successful in mediating issues with customers, I wasn't management. I had hired a number of the associates and trained them, but I knew many of them and managed to look after both their interests and the interests of the store.

2. It gives abrasive customers an unfair advantage.
The customer that walked in with the super attitude and the big chip on their shoulder was not going to get anywhere with me. They didn't know that of course, because their mentality was that they were right. I just had to make sure they understood that by the time we were done. And in most cases, they did. Remember the old saying, "you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar."

3. Some customers are just bad for business.
One of the problems I have is when I receive bad customer service from a company that has competition in the market. These people really need to understand that I can go elsewhere for the same item and the next place will be just as happy to take my money. What's worse however, is receiving poor company service from companies that have me over a barrel. Verizon, DirecTV, are you listening? Really, I don't want to go into it. It still hurts. But it worked out in the end.

4. It results in worse customer service.
I might tend to take issue with this. Granted, I understand how this would work. If you value your employees over your customers they will have a better work ethic and perhaps the issues with customers might go down. In fact, just last week, I had my car in for service and I complained about my service writer to another service writer that I had worked with before. He had been there for 35 years and the guy I had an issue with had been there for 5 months. Who do you think I will be working with next time?

5. Some customers are just plain wrong.
There is the customer that is upset that something has gone wrong. We can fix that. We can't work with genetics or personality disorders. We would all do well to remember that. I actually like getting out of the city and into the country because people are really just nicer. My father had an interesting "customer service" experience when visiting in Quebec. The Quebecois don't like Americans and like only mildly better the French. My father was born in France and [at the time] spoke perfect French with the appropriate French accent. He went into a shop for something and asked a question of the shopkeeper in French. The shopkeeper responded in English. My father asked why, to wit the shopkeeper responded, you are an American, I could just tell and I don't like them. Mind you that was like, 40 years ago, but is it any wonder this country has trouble making friends?

30,000 Pages of Backlog

Today is the final day of the MARAC Spring 2007 Meeting. We start with our business meeting, where the goings on of the organization are reported to the membership. Then we head off into our final two session blocks, while many spend that time checking out of their hotel rooms and getting a head start toward home. As shown by the picture above, we have archivists from all over (although this archivist is believed to work at the Library of Congress in DC - not Minnesota).

At the conclusion of the business meeting, we hear from the next meeting site coordinators, inviting us to that location. In this case, Williamsburg, Virginia in November 2007. There was also a reading of an adaptation of the Harry Chapin song, 30,000 Pounds of Bananas. I present it below for your enjoyment.

My wife and I will leave lovely Scranton and make a stop in Hazleton, Pennsylvania on our way home to do some genealogical research for her family. If time permits, we will make a stop at the outlets in Gettysburg, to do some research into some new fashions at good prices.

With apologies to Harry Chapin . . .

It was Thursday afternoon
When the cars started down the hill
That leads into Scranton, Pennsylvania.
Carrying almost two hundred fifty MARAC archivists.

We’re at thirty five years,
Just out for our Spring meeting.
Carrying the mantle of history’s flame
To everyone in that coal-scarred city.
Where archivists work without despair,
In underground stacks and the rest manage to process
About 30,000 pages of backlog.
Yes, more than 30,000 pages of backlog.

We passed a sign that we didn’t read,
Saying the electric city was still here.
We were thinking perhaps about the ice cold beer,
That was waiting in the hospitality suite.
We started down the two mile drop,
The curving road that wound from the top of the hill.

Just a few more days to go,
Then we’d go home and start a new era,
And the dreams of 400 years in Virginia.
Yes the dreams of 400 years in Virginia.

We were picking up speed as the hotel grew closer,
But we paid no heed as the delicious thoughts of the reception’s
Delights went through us.
Our feet nudged the brakes to slow us down,
But the pedal floored easy without a sound.
We said, “Schellenberg!”
It was funny how we had named the only man who could save us now.

We were trapped under an incredible backlog,
Trying to get it off our backs,
Was every one of those 30,000 pages of backlog.
Yes, there were 30,000 pages of backlog.

We barely made the sweeping curve that led into the hotel lot,
We missed the governor going by at ninety miles an hour.
And we said “God, get me a drink!”
As we drove into the parking lot.
And we said “God, get me a drink!”
As we drove into the parking lot.
And we drove past nineteen corporate archivists,
Called to thirteen academic colleagues,
Saw two valets, entered eight doors,
And waited for the elevators . . .
It was then we lost our cool,
Not to mention our way before we stopped.
And we looked at the signs,
That adorned the hotel that is here in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
All those two hundred fifty MARAC archivists.

You know the man who told me about it at Trax,
As we drank in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
He shrugged his shoulders, he shook his head,
And he said (and this is exactly what he said),
“Boy it sure must have been something.
Just imagine, thirty thousand pages of backlog,
Yes there were two hundred fifty MARAC archivists,
And backlog, just backlog, thirty thousand pages,
Of backlog, not no processing now, just backlog.

The Mall of America

Prompted by an article I read in the New York Times Magazine, March 4, 2007.

This summer, the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota (within easy reach of the
Minneapolis/St. Paul airport - an easy shopping day trip?) will celebrate its 15th Anniversary. While it remains the largest mall in the United States at 4.2 million square feet, there are several more in Asia that are larger. The current leader is a mall in China that is 9.6 million square feet.

If you click on the link above, you will learn a bunch of useless facts about the Mall of America's "hugeness" including the banal statistic that "258 Statues of Liberty could lie inside." More than 500 stores and 20,000 parking spaces await you and you can even order a coupon book online.

The article goes on to attempt to explain how the "Mall of America" has become a brand (MY friend went to the Mall of America and all they could afford was this lousy T-shirt). One woman is attempting to poke some fun at that. Rosemary Williams, who is an artist and an assistant professor at St. Cloud State University, decided to make a "sculpture," she called the Wall of Mall. Her blog, Rosemarygoestothemall.com, explains her plan. There are even podcast episodes available for download. Here she chronicles her problem, in that stores did not want to give her a bag without a purchase. So she has been spending weeks going back and forth, buying things and returning them to get the bag for her sculpture, which you can see here.

The things some people will do for their art. And here in DC, even the garbage is being turned into art.

Wal-Mart, meet Tivo. Tivo, meet Wal-Mart

I love TiVo. It has revolutionized the way I watch TV. If you talk to my wife, she will tell you that I resisted getting it for a long time. Then I caved. Publicly, I say here: I was wrong, she was right.

Now, today, news from the retailing giant, Wal-Mart, that they will join forces with TiVo to offer digital movies that can be downloaded to your TiVo for watching in your home. You won't have to buy the physical copy of the movie, it will reside on your TiVo's hard drive.

Shortly after the announcement, Amazon announced it would offer a similar service.

Let the revolution continue! Now I won't miss my Netflix account!

Neiman Marcus Holiday Catalog

One of the sure signs the holidays are upon us is the release of the Neiman Marcus Holiday catalog. Be sure to look through the book and see the David Yurman necklaces and watch, the Burberry collections for him and her, the Baccarat bird, or perhaps the Mont Blanc diamond pen for $160,930. Perhaps you would prefer the Steuben vases made to look like tree trunks, or from the crystal collection: a wireless mouse ($170), a crystal pet leash ($185), or maybe you can't live without the crystal opera glasses ($150). There is even a section of items under $100 for us peons to choose from.

People around the world await the catalog to see what they cannot afford this year and wonder who it is that is buying these items. The fun part is perusing the big ticket items. Let's take a look:

Starting off the Fantasy Gifts section is the always popular, Virgin Galactic Charter to Outer Space. This too, can be yours, for you and five of your friends for $1,764,000. This is not the highest price item in the book however. That goes to the Club Membership (in perpetuity) at a Tuscan villa, the price tag? $3,800,000.

Perhaps you had your heart set on the Limited Edition 2007 BMW Individual M6 Convertible? Too bad, they all sold in one minute and thirty-two seconds. That is about as long as it took to type this paragraph. So be sure to congratulate your neighbor if he comes home in one. At least you will know what he paid for it - $139,000.

For the bargain shopper among us, the least expensive item in the fantasy gifts section? Not even for you. Limited Edition Pet Homes. Two styles, one priced at $5000 and the other at $7000, will each be signed by the designer and only ten of each will be made. Get yours today.

You may recall that I am an archivist. I take my job seriously. Unfortunately, NM has in its catalog this year the following: the Jacques Fath Archives. Here is the description for the item:

Jacques Fath led a magnificent life. The glamorous, self-taught Frenchman opened his couture salon in Paris in 1937 and became one of the first French designers to export haute couture collection to the United States. By 1947, his sweeping skirts were reshaping a global industry still in its infancy.

In 1949, he earned a Neiman Marcus Award for Distinguished Service in the Field of Fashion. He dressed some of the most elegant celebrities of his time. Fath apprenticeships launched the careers of Hubert de Givenchy and Guy Laroche. Sadly, the magic ended abruptly with his death in 1954. Two years later, his widow closed the couture line. Although his career was cut short, Fath had a profound impact on popular culture. He helped launch the New Look of the late 1940s. And unlike most designers, Fath kept meticulous records of his design sketches. In partnership with Rita Watnick of Lily et Cie, we proudly offer a rare chronicle of historic significance: the only archival record of the House of Fath. This museum-quality collection includes 26 volumes of original sketchbooks from 1948 through 1956, with more than 3,400 couture designs. The collection also includes three exquisite Fath haute couture dresses, each with its accompanying sketch. With this archive, the possibilities are monumental. Endow a wing of your favorite museum with a comprehensive overview of fashion history or launch your own research center to inspire the Faths of tomorrow. For more information about securing and preserving this distinct legacy, please call 1.877.9NM.GIFT.

The price tag to own your own archives? $3,500,000. Quel horreur! Anyone for signed copies of the Declaration of Independence? Perhaps a Picasso unblemished by Steve Wynn? Hey, isn't Interpol still looking for "The Scream"? I guess what I am saying is that like priceless works of art, there can be no price tag placed on items of archival value, especially those that do not exist elsewhere.

It's the Ryder Cup!

Starting at 3:00am this morning, the USA faced off against Europe in the 36th Ryder Cup Matches, being played at the K Club in Kildare, Ireland. The United States is trying to take the trophy away from the Europeans who whipped the Americans last time at Oakland Hills. After the first day, Europe is up 5-3 over the USA. Who cares, right? Well, it's golf and for those of us who partake, it's a sickness and we can't get enough of it.

You may note on my perpetual to-do list that it is my goal to get my golf score down into the 90's by the time I turn 40. That gives me little more than 15 months to make that goal. Earlier this week, with my wife and son away at the beach, I was able to stop at a local golf course, which I play frequently, on my way home to play golf in the fading daylight. I matched my personal best on the course, shooting 45 for nine holes. My main problem is inconsistency, i.e., one good shot, followed by several bad ones. There are many kinks in my game, but the main thing is that I am having fun on the course.

Upon arriving at the beach, I announced that my main objectives for my Rehoboth vacation was outlet shopping (tax-free in Delaware) and golf. I had done a little research and located a few good public courses close by and inexpensive. My game is not such that I need to be paying through the nose for greens fees.

So this morning, I headed off to the Old Landing Golf Course, a beautiful course that is very forgiving. Wide open, just a little water and not too many trees. (But somebody will still need to explain to me why I lost four balls over the course.) Upon arriving at the course, I paid my greens fees, picked up my key for the golf cart (I'm on vacation, I didn't want to walk) and headed for the first tee. It was a beautiful day here in Delaware, although a little chilly on the beach I was told. So I teed it up and sent it down the fairway (to the right side, but that too, is not unusual). The course was empty. I teed off in front of a foursome, caught up to a single who let me play through, passed a threesome on the turn, and then caught a twosome on the back, who let me play through again. The best part about playing golf is doing it quickly. I managed to get around 18 holes in just over two hours. By comparison, weekends on a public course at home can set you back four or five hours.

I suppose it could be said that I got around rather quickly because I did not have to take as many swings as I normally do. On a course I had never played before, playing by myself so I had no on-course advice, I managed to shoot 101. On the leaderboard of any normal golf tournament, that would put me down near the bottom at +30. I would most certainly not make the cut to play on the weekend. But as I said earlier, the goal is did I have fun - and I did.

Plus, since I managed to get around so quickly, I stopped at the outlets on my way home. Mission(s) accomplished.