More Back to School Memories

Today is the day that I will always associate with going back to school.  In New York, you always started the Wednesday after Labor Day.  In my school district, there was a high Jewish population so you almost always had time off very soon for Rosh Hashanah and then Yom Kippur in October.

Here's a list of "Things You Learned in School That Are Now Completely Useless" [from BuzzFeed]

1. How to write in cursive - it disappoints me that this is not taught anymore.
2. How to drop an egg from a five-story building without breaking it - I must have been absent this day.
3. How to climb a rope - I really wanted to be absent on this day.
4. How to play Hot Cross Buns on the recorder - would that I still had mine, I might be able to do this.
5. How to make the most badass erupting volcano - I was not a big science guy
6. How to find a book using the card catalog system - I worked in a library for a while and became quite familiar with Melvil and his card filing system.  To this day, the scene from the Breakfast Club where Judd Nelson rearranges the cards in the drawers gives me the heebee jeebees.
7. How to use long division - remember to show your work!
8. Memorizing the periodic table of elements - yeah, not so much.  But I did what I had to, to avoid the wrath of Mrs. Feit.
9. How to forge a river on the Oregon Trail - and with its resurgence, so can LBA and SoBA!
10. Memorizing the preamble to the U.S. Constitution - duh, Schoolhouse Rock!
11. How to spell boobs on a calculator - no, I never did this.
12. How to do the limbo - that was in "elective gym."
13. Reciting the state capitals - my mother used to be able to do this.  I could probably do 40 of them.
14. How to make a potato battery - again, more science, not so much.
15. Learning to sing in a round - Row Row Row Your Boat, anyone?
16. How to make a Cat's Cradle 
17. How to make paper snowflakes
18. How to make a cootie catcher - I had no idea that's what they were called.
19. How to play foursquare - and it does not involve "checking in."
20. How to do the Macarena - luckily, I just missed this.
21. How to keep a Tamagotchi alive - also I'm older than these.
22. How to make papier mache anything
23. How to make a shoebox diorama - I loved making these
24. How to care for a fake infant egg - why?
25. How to grow a plant in a wet paper towel
26. How to line up by height
27. How to color in the lines
28. Latin - semper ubi, sub ubi.
29. Memorizing all of the presidents in order - Bruce Farbstein used to be able to do this forward and backwards in under a minute.  I can do it, but I usually screw up the order pre- and post-Lincoln.
30. How to navigate the Encyclopedia Britannica - what's an encyclopedia?
31. How to find arrowheads
32. How to dissect a frog - again, the wrath of Mrs. Feit came down on me when I nearly passed out.
33. How to say 'no' to drugs
34. How to put a condom on a phallic fruit
35. How to differentiate between different types of dinosaurs
36. How to cite a source using MLA 
37. How to build a styrofoam solar system - hey, and mine included Pluto, it'll always be a planet to me!
38. How to extract liquid from a pouch - that's not a euphemism for anything.
39. How to use WordArt for fancy fonts - similarly there was using BASIC to create banners with your name or writing loop "go to" programs.
40. How to write poetry
41. How to make an acrostic
42. How to write a book report - or the dreaded "five paragraph essay"
43. How to jump out of the back of a bus - that was always a fun way to start one's day.
44. How to decorate for a dance
45. How to sell worthless coupon books
46. How to scratch and sniff
47. How to care for your Pokemon cards - LBA has some of those around somewhere - wait are they worth money?
48. How to make a tornado in a soda bottle - before Mentos and Diet Coke that is.
49. How to spell - so you mean that red line doesn't automatically appear when you misspell a word when writing longhand?  What's up with that?