Saturday, November 1, 2014

Halloween Candy

One benefit of being a parent is the "house" takes 50% of the Halloween Candy.  Plus, because LBA is allergic, all the peanut items come right off the top.  It's a hardship - but someone has to make out here.  Why shouldn't it be me.

So what did you and yours score last night?  Here's a list (from BuzzFeed) ranking chocolate candy from grossest to bestest. "The criteria: In order to be considered for the ranking, all candy had to contain either a chocolate-y outer shell or a chocolate-y inner life. Sorry, no gummy candies or licorices were evaluated." [Comments in quotes from BuzzFeed / my comments in italics]

27. Chunky, Nestle
  • “Candy with raisins? Who does that?”
  • “I heard Chunky was Mussolini’s favorite candy.”
  • It's the weirdest - small and yet so completely unsatisfying.
26. Goldenberg’s Peanut Chews, Goldenberg's
  • “They sound boring already.”
  • “It sounds like candy that would be at your grandparent’s house.”
  • “The chewing is the worst, TBH.” 
  • “The chocolate is gross.” “It’s vegan.” “Oh.” 
  • I can *tolerate* the milk chocolate ones, but that is blasphemy to those who like them - and only acknowledge the dark chocolate ones.
25. Birthday Cake M&Ms, Mars
  • “There is a level of fragrance to these that is uncomfortable.”
  • “This is an unhappy marriage of desserts.”
  • Sometimes it should just be . . .  cake.
24. Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme, Hershey’s
  • “This is a luxury candy bar.” 
  • “The first piece is always amazing, but you can never have more than, like, 3 pieces at a time (or even in a week).” 
  • “I love cookies and cream as an ice cream flavor, but white chocolate in a bar is atrocious.”
  • This treads into the white chocolate world - which there is no gray area, here, either you loathe it or you like it.
23. Almond Joy, Peter Paul
  • “I only eat Almond Joy. Sorry you all eat Almond Sorrow.” 
  • “Does adding almonds to Mounds bars make them any better? I’d say no.”
  • I despise coconut in my candy, well, in most things, actually
22. Mounds, Peter Paul
  • “Mounds are mom candy.” 
  • “Your mom is always like ‘I wish I had a Mounds.’” 
  • “Coconut is good only in shampoo.”
21. Krackel, Hershey’s
  • “Krackel is the poor man’s Nestle Crunch.” 
  • “Krackel was always the thing you got trick or treating where you were like ‘eh, whatever.’”
  • I feel like I'm obligated to stick up for Hershey's here
20. Mr. Goodbar, Hershey’s
  • “Mr. Goodbar is my favorite because I’m a degenerate.” 
  • “Has anyone ever purchased a full-sized Mr. Goodbar ever?
  • When I buy a bag of miniatures, I'm usually left with these and special dark
19. Pretzel M&Ms, Mars
  • “Pretzel M&Ms seem like a good idea for the first 10 seconds the first time you put one in your mouth, and then never again.” 
  • “They’re too funky fake tasting.” 
  • “WTF. I like them. I’ll eat your guys’.”
  • Like the two of the three above, I would have rated these higher - they are definitely in my top three M&M flavors
18. 3 Musketeers, Mars
  • “3 Musketeers are actually trash.” 
  • “Sorry I like them. Like, A LOT.” 
  • “Nougat is so good.” 
  • “But why advertise that you’re low fat. You’re eating a candy bar. You don’t care about those things.”
  • My problem is the amorphous "nougat" - I'm not really sure what I'm eating.  Though I like these frozen.
17. Peanut Butter M&Ms, Mars
  • “In a pinch these will do, but let’s be real. The peanut butter is far inferior to Reese’s stuff.”
  • Not worth my time, though I know that Kim Ayres disagrees.
16. Mint M&Ms, Mars
  • “They remind me of those fancy Andes dinner mints.” 
  • “Oh man, you know when you go to a restaurant and they bring a mint after the dinner and you’re like, what is this, a garbage mint? but then there’s CHOCOLATE inside and it changes everything.” 
  • “Pleasant. Creamy. Refreshing.”
  • I'm not interested.  I'm mildly intrigued, but won't seek them out.
15. Hershey’s With Almonds, Hershey’s
  • “It’s not thick enough to hold a good almond chunk.”
  • “Like of all the nuts they could have gone for they went with ALMONDS?”
  • Another of my go to candy bars.  I like these.
14. Milky Way, Mars
  • “I think it’s best in fun-size, but not as a legit full-size bar.”
  • Like it's cousin, 3 Musketeers, it's better frozen
13. Snickers, Mars
  • “Snickers are good but then I feel like I made a mistake after, always.” 
  • “I feel like the Snickers and the Milky Way are the basic bitches of the candy bar world.”
  • Sometimes I'm up on the Snickers bar, sometimes down.  I definitely have to be in the mood for it.
12. Kit Kat, Mars
  • “Kit Kat’s breakable structure pleases me.” 
  • “Plus that jingle. Forever in my head.” 
  • “Kit Kats are garbage candy. No one ever picks a Kit Kat.”
  • That last comment is a little harsh - I'll never turn down a Kit Kat.
11. Butterfinger, Nestle
  • “Butterfingers is a desperation candy.” 
  • “Physically impossible to eat without feeling like you’re destroying your teeth forever, to the point where your teeth might fall out while you’re eating it. and maybe that’s part of the thrill.”
  • “What IS the stuff in the middle. it’s not food.” 
  • “Controversial, but I love it. It just feels like danger in my mouth.” 
  • “I’m actually not that big a fan of Butterfingers. Probably the least appetizing name of them all. And they tasted just as bad. No one wants to choke on your flaky dust. It’s a poor excuse for a candy bar.” 
  • “I want to choke on that flaky dust.”
  • When there's other, better chocolate around, I'm going there.  I won't eat a butterfinger unless it's the last one about.
10. 100 Grand, Nestle
  • “The only legit full-size candy bar.” 
  • “I have never had one of those.” 
  • “Nope.”
  • On my list, this one is much, much higher.  It is possibly one of my most favorite candy bars, ever.
9. York Peppermint Patty, Hershey’s
  • “These make me feel like I’m eating a cool mountain breeze. In a good way.” 
  • “I cannot abide by peppermint candy. it’s like trying to eat a Hershey bar after brushing your teeth.”
  • A favorite of Mrs. BA, but not of mine.
8. Hershey’s, Hershey’s
  • “Never what I reach for, but always surprisingly satisfying.” 
  • “#Classic.” 
  • “I never usually want anything to do with milk chocolate. It’s garbage chocolate. But sometimes Hershey’s is aight.”
  • These are fine, and even better when you smear a bit of peanut butter on them.
7. M&Ms, Mars
  • “#Classic.” 
  • “A binge food.”
  • Meh
6. Baby Ruth, Nestle
  • “Baby Ruths are actually really good, but I think of them as a dad candy bar.” 
  • “I would agree, they are perhaps the most forgotten candy bar.” 
  • “But you know what? They’re great.”
  • Of the peanuts in my chocolate bar, these are better than some of the others out there.
5. Nestle Crunch, Nestle
  • “Crunch bar is the superior rice candy bar.” 
  • “Most definitely. Love the thinness of Crunch.”
  • They're OK.
4. Take 5, Hershey’s
  • “Woefully underrated.” 
  • “Pretzels, caramel, peanut butter and chocolate? Sold. DOUBLE SOLD.” 
  • “This proves that there should be pretzels in MOST if not all candy bars.”
  • Along with the 100 Grand, these might be my top two favorites
3. Toblerone, Toblerone
  • “The nougat is seriously crack.” 
  • “I love how it opens.” 
  • “Toblerone is too much work for your mouth. It’s like mouth geometry.” 
  • “It has a neat shape and there’s toffee in it. You can’t not love this stuff.”
  • Toblerone will always make me think of airports and duty free items.
2. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Hershey’s
  • “I love the Reese’s peanut butter in all forms - pieces, cups, actual peanut butter jar.” 
  • “Instead of flowers, throw Reese’s in my grave.” 
  • “Shower me in peanut butter cups.” 
  • “Reese’s forever.”
  • There isn't much wrong in life that can't be solved by a fresh, cold, Reese's
1. Peanut M&Ms, Mars
  • "Peanut M&Ms are so much better than regular M&Ms.” 
  • “They are perhaps the best.”
  • “They’re the elegant mom version of M&Ms.” 
  • “Solid, substantial, perfect size and weight.”
  • I would agree they are the best of the M&M family

1 comment:

C in DC said...

I discovered this Halloween that I have a thing for Reese's Nutrageous.