Halloween Jokes

Primarily for Dads to elicit groans from their children (from BuzzFeed):

1. Why are graveyards so noisy?  Because of all the coffin'
2. Why did the vampire subscribe to the New York Times?  He heard it had great circulation
3. Why didn’t the mummy have any friends?  He was too wrapped up in himself.
4. What kind of protozoa likes Halloween? An ameboo
5. What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist? He was repossessed
6. What do Italians eat on Halloween? Fettuccine A-fraid-o
7. Why can’t male ghosts have babies? Because they have hollow weenies
8. What did the corpse’s mom do when she got mad at him? She grounded him
9. What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner? They gave him the cold shoulder
10. Why did Dracula get thrown out of the haunted house? He was a pain in the neck
11. Why are demons and ghouls always together? Because Demons are a Ghoul's Best Friend (sing it, you'll get it)
12. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating? They don't have any body to go out with
13. What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets
14. Where do movie stars go on Halloween? Maliboo!
15. What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A Stake Sandwich
16. Who does a mummy take on a date? Any old girl he can dig up
17. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling
18. Frankenstein and Dracula had a fight. Who won? Frankenstein - because Dracula sucks
19. Why did the headless horseman start a business? He wanted to get a head in life
20. Who are some of the werewolves’ cousins? The What-Wolves and the When-Wolves
21. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash