- Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin'
- Why did the vampire subscribe to the New York Times? He heard it had great circulation
- Why didn’t the mummy have any friends? He was too wrapped up in himself.
- What kind of protozoa likes Halloween? An ameboo
- What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist? He was repossessed
- What do Italians eat on Halloween? Fettuccine A-fraid-o
- Why can’t male ghosts have babies? Because they have hollow weenies
- What did the corpse’s mom do when she got mad at him? She grounded him
- What happened to the cannibal who was late to dinner? They gave him the cold shoulder
- Why did Dracula get thrown out of the haunted house? He was a pain in the neck
- Why are demons and ghouls always together? Because Demons are a Ghoul's Best Friend (sing it, you'll get it)
- Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating? They don't have any body to go out with
- What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets
- Where do movie stars go on Halloween? Maliboo!
- What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A Stake Sandwich
- Who does a mummy take on a date? Any old girl he can dig up
- What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling
- Frankenstein and Dracula had a fight. Who won? Frankenstein - because Dracula sucks
- Why did the headless horseman start a business? He wanted to get a head in life
- Who are some of the werewolves’ cousins? The What-Wolves and the When-Wolves
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash
Friday, October 31, 2014
Primarily for Dads to elicit groans from their children (from BuzzFeed):