Thursday, September 25, 2014

A Day Off to Golf!

The Brave Astronaut is taking the day off tomorrow to golf in the annual St. Ambrose Men's Club Golf Tournament.  This will be the first time all year that I have swung a golf club as I have been suffering from a pinched nerve in my neck since the end of March.  I have been through a variety of treatments, including seeing my chiropractor regularly (whose playing in the tournament with me today, which may be a good thing), an orthopedist, physical therapy, and most recently acupuncture (I had a treatment just today - to be ready for tomorrow).

I have had back pain since 1985, when, as a Senior in High School, I broke my leg.  As a result, I started to walk differently and threw out my back.  After the initial examination, it was determined that I don't have a fully developed L5 vertebrae (I know, you're jealous).

So here's a list of "21 Struggles People With Back Pain Know to be True."  Here's hoping that I can get through 18 holes tomorrow.
  1. You’re on a first name basis with your chiropractor - well, I am.
  2. You know what good posture is, but can’t make yourself use it regularly
  3. Heated back pads are a lifesaver
  4. The icy-warm of tingle of pain cream is such a relief … 
  5. … But you can’t stand the way it smells.
  6. Your medicine cabinet is like a who’s who of painkillers and muscle relaxers.
  7. And you’ve gone on a “trip” or gotten queasy when you’ve taken them on an empty stomach.
  8. Kinesio tape has become an art form to you, but damn if it doesn’t itch after a couple of days.
  9. Electrotherapy makes you look and feel like a cyborg.
  10. You have found out the hard way that massages can be anything but relaxing.
  11. You’ve had a head rush from spinal decompression exercises.
  12. After a while you can pretty much read your own x-ray.
  13. You’ve tried every type of stretch. Flexibility can help relieve pain.
  14. You’ve even tried less traditional methods to get more flexible.
  15. Over time you’ve learned to embrace your back brace.
  16. MRI machines always make you feel claustrophobic.
  17. You know firsthand that the hardest part about falling down is getting back up.
  18. You even tried alternative treatments, in spite of how painful they look.
  19. You get strange looks at work when sitting in a pain-free position.
  20. You wouldn’t even dream of picking up something heavy off the ground.
  21. After icing your back daily, an ice bucket challenge looks like child’s play.

1 comment:

C in DC said...

Oh, yes.

22. You dream of a massage-chiro-acupuncturist who can do all treatments at once so you can be completely pain free for 15 minutes, and you would auction your first born for those 15 minutes.