Oh my God! She's gone from suck to blow

If you are a fan of Spaceballs, you will recognize the above line. It also sums up my feelings these days about Verizon, with the exception that the company may indeed both suck and blow. There is something to be said about monopolies. In fact there is a story associated with John D. Rockefeller and monopolies, he of the first really, really big one.

John D. Rockefeller was playing golf with a friend, who was also a priest, when a messenger arrived to inform JDR that Standard Oil was being broken up into several smaller companies. JDR allegedly turned to his friend and said, "Father, have you any money?" The priest was taken aback. How could the country's richest man be in need of money? Was the punishment too severe? He evidently replied to Rockefeller, "No, John, I do not. Why do you need money?"

Rockefeller is said to have replied, "Not for me Father, for you. I would advise you to buy Standard Oil stock as this breakup is going to make all the stockholders a lot of money, when they get a share in each new company for each single share of Standard Oil they have. I am going to be a much richer man when this is over."

I have worked in customer service positions. It boggles my mind when a company that needs to provide good customer service (let alone good communications) completely screws up a situation and seems ill inclined to try and fix it. This would be my situation with Verizon. I am home now waiting for the Verizon guy to come and hook up my phone service, resolving an issue that has been ongoing for more than a month.

Here's my story:
At the beginning of September I called Verizon to tell them I was moving and that I needed new service at my new address. I was (at least I thought I was) very clear that I needed to set up a new account as the old account and services was to continue at my old address (for my sister-in-law and her family). I agreed to the "upsell" and ordered Verizon FIOS phone and Internet service at my new address. Please note, I was now agreeing to give Verizon MORE money than I had been giving them before.

I was given a service appointment for September 20 to install the phone and Internet service. I moved on September 17. At about that same time, my sister-in-law's husband went in to check on the status of the DSL service at the old address. Nope, disconnected. Of course, it was. Because Verizon put it in their systems as a transfer of service to the new address, despite that I was getting different service and a new phone number at the new location.

On moving day, I had my first conversation with a woman, Nancy, in the Verizon FIOS department. She has been the one person at Verizon that I have found who is mildly competent and has continued to work the issues and try and get them resolved. My sister would be convinced that it was my mother trying to help me out - Nancy was my mother's name.

The DSL service never returned to our old address and my sister-in-law's husband was even more disgusted with Verizon than me, so he has canceled the service altogether at the old address. That account still had my cellphone account tied to it (Verizon's all about the bundling) and I have now had to "de-enroll" from the Verizon One-Bill and will have to re-enroll into One-Bill when the new home number is up and running. As one might imagine, I went over on my wireless minutes last month (as my cellphone was my only means of communication with the outside world) and was looking at a bill with $70 extra in overage charges.

The Verizon technician arrived on September 20 and informed me that he was there only to install the Internet service as the phone portion of the order had been canceled (by Verizon, not me). As with DirecTV, Verizon neglected to tell me why this had been done. This was when I got on the phone with Nancy and started to "work the problem." As the DirecTV issue spiralled into chaos, I kept telling the Verizon guy, "You know, I used to hate Verizon. You should feel better, now there's a company that I hate more than you." I think I scared him. He wound up leaving his drill behind and when he came by a few days later, he asked Mrs. Brave Astronaut if everything was OK with the Internet, as he did not want me to ever be mad at him.

I was ultimately given a new service appointment for this coming Monday October 15, which I maintained with Nancy, was completely unacceptable. It's funny how things become more acceptable when you go around and around and the day finally arrives. Monday is but four short days away. But I digress, they are supposed to come today. So, I sit, and wait.

I have now been on the phone with Verizon again and have learned that the order for the hookup was done incorrectly, so I will likely not get hooked up today. Has Verizon done anything to make me feel better? Let's see. I have received:

• refund / credit at the old address for Internet and telephone service (since I wasn't there to use it and it was disconnected anyway.
• refund for the first month of Internet service here at the new address (sure I had it, but why pay for something when it is the least they can do and they are threatening to cut it off anyway because there is no phone number to bill it to).
• Half the overage charges were credited to me by Verizon Wireless (a gift, something they didn't have to do)
• A $100 gift card has been promised to me by Nancy.

So I am thinking there must be some more goodies in Verizon's goody bag for me. Suggestions? I am thinking a promotional discount on my service (whenever it gets hooked up) for 6 months? A year? Another gift card? Have them come and clean my house? Something better be coming to me. Rest assured of that. Stay tuned.